prayers and prayers

I just got one of those wonderful chain letters, you know, Do not break the chain .......

Anyway this one is to make a prayer and St. Theresa will help out:

REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the prayer. That's all you have
to do.


Well, I was just last week reading a quote from one of the Ajhan's Either Ajhan Chah or previous to him. Gave the book away so I can't check on it.

First I was thinking I would pray for happiness. That ought to cover health, wealthy, partner, success you know everything. But that quote jumped into my mind. "I so filled with Joy to know that there is no happiness." Bugger, He's right though. Everything eventually turns sour. The getting on with life is to realize that when life sucks that this too will change. Having lived a few years now I realize that I have had many times that I thought in the instance were happy. Lots of laughter, good friends, partner, money what ever. Its all gone.

So, what would a person pray for that realizes that there is no happiness. Success? Been there done that. It was serious hard work. Fighting all the time looking for the edge to really succeed. I have never quite gotten over the hump to really SUCCEED. Always the struggle, never the glory. OK, I have had relative success in many adventures. This healing thing that I am still sort of doing. Well, once a healer you can't exactly stop being a healer. Even if you don't have any clients eh? And I have many students. And many of the students use this method quite successfully. That all feels good. Yet, while the teaching was a blast and I really really love to teach spirituallity and healing, NOW right now as I sit here wondering how I am going to pay for the tax accountant to sort out my taxes this year. How to find enough money to pay the bills. How to find enough money to stay out of debt and many other problems. I am not a street person. I am just not cut out for it. yet the feeling is that it is just around the corner. YUCK. Maybe that is what I need to pray for that I never become a street person.

I get a picture of just enough success that I am hanging on by my fingernails and watching them break off as I go slipping down that slippery slope alone, sweating and in fear.

Well, honestly if it got that bad I would go to the monastery and join up. I know that it is my destiny to do that, yet I keep hoping that I can be "successful" before I decide to do that.

I thought that the Forky thing would pay out and get me ahead. It is just barely keeping my head above water. The thing in the news here was that average income is $60,000 per annum. If you have 8 people making $25,000 a year and one making $100,000 a year the average is $60,000. SUCKS big time. And I am one of many here in the 25,000 range. We are all having troubles. Food prices are going up. Rent is going up. Winter time.

Pray for success. . . . again? What is success? How is that determined? Or happiness for that matter. I know that I am living just as I am supposed to be living in a Spiritual way. Spiritual and broke, I don't believe that either. I like to think that I am in a waiting game for some thing that I have designed for my 60's. sure hope I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Can't tell either.

Well, heck I am going to do the happiness/success prayer wish. Let you know in 10 years if it worked, ha ha ha.

peace

gene