Devastated and Devastated again

Hello All,

I was flying along happily in life over the weekend after returning from India. See previous 4 blogs (start from the beginning).

I was a bit concerned how my new feeling of touching into Oneness would be when I returned to work. Actually, it wasn't too bad. I was a bit tired yet work went smoothly.

Monday evening I called the Australian Coordinator for Oneness, Lisa to ask her about the venue. I do not know why we got onto what my tickets were for getting to Sydney, but it quickly came to light that I had a major problem. I was to arrive 24 hours after the rest of the crowd had departed Sydney.

The problem is based in many errors mostly in my opinion in working with and trusting Flight Centre. I was working with Mark Trim of Adelaide FC and had asked him specifically back in Late Feb or early March how soon I could buy my connecting flights from Perth to Sydney. He said the flight from Sydney would be in the arvo of 2 May so arrive earlly on 2 May would be fine.

I vaguely remember an email being put out saying something in the order of, "some people will need to change their schedule because of a plane change from Sydney to Nadi". I knew KNEW since I had been told directly by MT that I was not one of those, "some people". I didn't even pay it any attention.

I felt absolutely devastated, squashed, flattened all the abandonment issues of childhood came washing back in. Here I had paid nearly $5000 for a workshop that I was set to miss. Even as I write this and think about missing that plane I feel terror. And, the rough part would have been that I would have gotten there with not enough funds to even make it to Nadi on my own somehow. And, and and and and and and and. My stomach is sour even now as I write this.

Fortunately I had scheduled a session with Friend Isha and was able to get some body work and be received by a dear friend that really loves me. When I departed her home I departed with homemade soup and a couple of fruits as gifts.

I was very quiet at work on Tuesday. Tuesday evening I gave two massages to friends, and spirit energy started to rise as it will with friends. So, by bed time I was cruising along, hurt, but healthy. I was not attempting in any way to hide from my hurt. I was deeply feeling it as that is what we do in Oneness. To get to real Oneness we no longer hide from our pain, we feel it completely. It will go away.

So, flights changed and I told work that now I needed to leave on Wednesday evening rather than on Thursday evening.

Wednesday I am at work and again feeling a bit wired and excited. OH, I had an interesting conversation with Namrata a friend that is flying to Perth 8 May to stay here at my abode till I return and then some. We shared my pain for a bit then as is common Namrata told me that I could make that devastated feeling go away by tapping on it with EFT which she and I both do. I don't feel that I got my point across that in the new paridigm one doesn't hide from the pain of life. You live it deeply. If you are angry really feel that anger, In love, same really feel that love. In pain feel the pain, don't compartmentalize it like we usually do. Don't run from it, no hiding BE IT.

So, during morning break I called friend Jenny who is flying to Fiji tonight also. During the conversation it came out that the return trip was also &*()&*()_*(_) ed. We would not be able to come back to Perth in time for Isha's 11 May workshop. I now won't arrive until it is over. Flattened again.

I would like to write more. I have got to finish and pack and shower and get out of here.

Let's just say on one level . . . it is only money. I will be open to being invited for food when i return as the funds are greatly dimisihed now.

As for doing the Oneness . . . it works best when one can open up to their vunerableness. I am THERE in SPADES now, ha ha ha.

See you all for more updates when I return.

peace

gene

may you all be well and happy