Friday, 23 January 2009

near death experience, Moving again

Hello everyone,

Been way too long since I last wrote. Life got a bit too..... and I wrote emails only to a group of 10 to keep track of my passage of time at that time. Now well, it is time to let one and all have a clue as to what was happening.

Last I wrote I had moved to my friends home to care for her. Talking about big changes and getting rid of all my STUFF.

Well, in the process of "letting go" of my stuff, I was also letting go of all my identity with my stuff. See Eckert Tolle's new book called something "new earth".

In letting go of the identity and having shifted home, and having no real direction in life, and no connections to anyone, and being a master number 38/11 with no earth signs......it seems I was also letting go of living in my body. About 20 days ago I woke one morning to zero energy. Totally exhausted, pooped, wasted, wiped out. It was all I could do to dress, fix food for myself and help Sara a few hours a day. After about the 3 day, on a trip to the beach, I remember commeting to Sara that it feels like I am "out there" pointing to space and doing a lot of energy to pull enough from out there to be able to drive the car safely. That same day when we turned around on the other end of the beach walk, I made it 25 paces before I collapsed. I gave Sara the keys and had her meet me on the highway near where I was. It was a downwind walk and I felt capable of doing that. I sat meditation for 30 minutes very blissfully.

The next day I talked with a friend who told me that the same thing happened to him 2 years ago and that he knew many people that this had happened too and they were meeting this weekend on Sunday evening. I found out that Sara knew of this group meeting and convinced her to return to it as she was a founding member.

After the general conversation and the reading of several channeled messages the host/teacher read out a 5 page channel. It listed, extreme tiredness as happening to many, serious dietary changes of eating what ever came by ones mouth even if it was something that the person had never eaten before, weight gains, no energy from any foods, burning feet. All of these I had had over the last year at one time or another.

At the end, I asked if I could state what was going on for me. Let go Let go let go and trust. I explained how I had been directed to get rid of everything and how the STUFF felt like filth that I needed to rid myself of. At the end, I also mentioned the 38/11 no earth signs etc.

Two women picked up on parts of my talk and informed me that I was well on the way to dying as I was "letting go" of my body as well as my stuff. I introduced Sara to Moira as she is a healer of foot pain.

Wednesday 10 days ago Sara and I went to see Moira at her home in Bullsbrook. Moira talked with Sara and told her what was possible. Then she turned to me and said, "Gene, if you wish to die, I can help you to do that, if you wish to live, I can help you do that...." I told Moira, " I choose to live". I cannot tell you exactly what she did, I really don't remember. I did sit in her energy centre (vortex) and know....let me change that KNOW that the next morning when i drew a breath on waking, it was the first time in a long time where I felt that I had energy enter and that it was on the increase.

On Thursday I had set up that I would return to see Moira for work on me specifically. I have been brought out of darkness into a profound sense of NOTHING. no direction in life, no goals, no noise, no idle chatter, no desire...NOTHING. When Sara heard on Wed night that I was going up again, she decided to tag along. I reluctantly agreed. The whole morning to get there was like a nightmare. It was HELL. I finally found the only synonym that seems to fit. Imagine a 17 year old boy with many siblings who has finally managed to have a day to himself. he has it all planned and all is well until just as he is to step out the door, GOD says, take your 6 year old sister with you. Sara felt and acted like a 6 year old bratty snot of a sister the whole morning.

When we walked in the meeting room at Moira's Moira asked Sara, "How are you doing?" S said in a quiet, subdued voice, "i'm fine". Then as I came in she asked me, "Gene, how are you doing?" "I am frustrated and angry as hell!!!" Moira, says, "great I programed that into the both of you." grrrrrr.

Through the day, we worked through many details of our relationship. I was given verbal notification that if Sara really got mad with me I would have 3 weeks notice to leave. No more sexual requests of veiled nature that I felt very uncomfortable with because I though that I would get kicked out of the house etc.

As we left, I thanked Sara for coming on this day.

Since then I have returned to see Moira twice. more on that later

For now, one week after Sara's promise of giving me 3 weeks notice, it has been given, ha ha ha. And now two days after that, the bitch daughter has moved back in and most of the work that I have successfully done for Sara in getting her supported and stronger has gone down the drain. Sara is back to being a basket case and is in lots of pain and whinging all the time again. Ha ha ha. So is life.

The good side is that I had a place to be for my near demise and have moved most of my stuff out. And re outfitted myself ready to hit the road. Also, with Moira's help have established myself among the living with new agenda's, I will talk more about that in the next blog.

peace

gene

remember new email address

genemartinshafer@gmail.com

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