Hello All,
Well, when push comes to shove and there isn't any more denying the facts....what is next. Acceptance? I feel that I am betraying my belief system. Believing that I create my own reality....they why create exhaustion? To get a rest? I thought that I was sluffing through life as it was. Now I need more sleep, rest, vitamins, support, help?
I have known a few people with CFS. They always look so healthy....when you see them. Trouble is of course that you don't see them often nor for very long. and I never really could fathom the idea of not having enough energy to lift a fork of food to your mouth....unless with the flu. No flu, no diarhea, no vomiting, just no energy.
And I am not talking about just body energy. The mind needs a fair bit of that energy too. The thinking is slim. The typing the pits. I rode my bike into Freo today. It is mostly all downhill. 1.5 k. Was exhausted by the time I got there. Even the mental aspect of thought to control balance, watch cars, dodge pedestrians, get to where I was going and remember why I was going there is too much.
I attempted to meditate today. Kept falling asleep and this is just 2 hours after getting up.
Its a slippery slope folks. My message....pay attention to your health while you got it and don't use all your energy all the time. Cause when you really really get depleted it takes a really really long time to replenish.
be well
peace
gene
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Monday, 11 May 2009
catch up
Hello all,
Just a brief catch up on information of life. (me brief???)
Really not many changes. Just had the full moon up at Moira's home with 13 energy centres available to help one and all shift with the rapidly changing energies of life at this time. It was perhaps the most restful time that I have had in months. I had no agenda, no idea of what to do, let the mind go, and sat in a lot of nothingness once again.
I did come away knowing that I need to sit in comfort with my current energies for a time. In comfort means without striving to change the situation as I have been doing. ie trying to find a way to get my energy back....so that I can get a job....so that I have more income to live life better....so that....I might have the energy to find a partner, so that......and the list goes on and on and on.
I need to just sit here still quiet no agenda and let life be.
So, that is my goal for the next week to a month. This is a real challenge to me as I am the utmost of the doer. With no energy and no place to escape I would crawl to keep going, ha ha ha
May you all be well and happy where ever you are.
peace
gene
see it was short
Just a brief catch up on information of life. (me brief???)
Really not many changes. Just had the full moon up at Moira's home with 13 energy centres available to help one and all shift with the rapidly changing energies of life at this time. It was perhaps the most restful time that I have had in months. I had no agenda, no idea of what to do, let the mind go, and sat in a lot of nothingness once again.
I did come away knowing that I need to sit in comfort with my current energies for a time. In comfort means without striving to change the situation as I have been doing. ie trying to find a way to get my energy back....so that I can get a job....so that I have more income to live life better....so that....I might have the energy to find a partner, so that......and the list goes on and on and on.
I need to just sit here still quiet no agenda and let life be.
So, that is my goal for the next week to a month. This is a real challenge to me as I am the utmost of the doer. With no energy and no place to escape I would crawl to keep going, ha ha ha
May you all be well and happy where ever you are.
peace
gene
see it was short
Sunday, 3 May 2009
life's entertaining
Hello All,
Well, I looked back a couple of Blogs to see what I have talked about lately. So, I guess I am on page 2 of the next book, ha ha ha. Well, it doesn't seem like much has happened since early April.
I am somewhat more settled in at my new digs. I have a few walls up to separate the space into segments that allow me a differentiation of room space. Then I added a 4x8 sheet of found plywood to the head of my bed and separated out an office area from the bedroom. Doesn't take much to sort out that energy from one area to another.
Just yesterday and today I have a new neighbor moving in. Fellow about mid 40's looks to have been around through some of the rougher times of life. Lots of self done tatoos etc. I don't mind a well paid for designed set of body tatoos, but the people that get the cheap ones and do them themselves hmmmmmm are a bit of the tougher society that I am not comfortable with.
Well, by coming to homes west I have certainly moved in with that crowd. So, time will play out what will happen. I am continuing to bless these wonderful surroundings as much better than being in a tent in the bush. Every night I go to sleep and every morning I wake, thank you thank you thank you. When the music is TOO LOUD I call the police. The cussing has not been too bad though some others complain more about that. I figure I could have been bush and still have the cussing so am much better off here.
Energetically with my health issues, I was starting to feel some better earlier last week. Just a modicum of a shift that I could notice. I worked carefully with George last weekend painting and doing volunteer work. rode around the river with him on Tuesday. had a doctor appointment on Thursday hoping for a Declaration of Medical needs....she wouldn't do it as she was not the one that had requested the blood work reports. Now I need to wait until I see Dr. Craig Turner for that. I have plenty of time, but sooner the better. There is a slight chance that I can get some supplemental support if I get the Dec Med completed.
There seems to be almost no jobs around....and if there were I still don't have the energy to do anything about them. I have volunteered at the Leeuwin for 2 days all up about 7 hours. Friday I came home and intended to go to the Buddhist Society for meditation and talk. By the time that I changed clothes/showered/ate, I was exhausted and have been ever since. I did ride some on Saturday (45 minutes) and worked at the Leeuwin, but have had a relapse of energy now and am flattened energetically.
The conversations with the new bloke outside make this place feel like I am living in a dorm with loud neighbors. Every one talks as if they are deaf. Hopefully it will all quieten down soon as they settle in. Upstairs Bev was asked by the new fella if the neighborhood was quiet...that is a good question for sure.
My astrology from Sudhir is my mantra I think for a few weeks:
It is nearly driving you nuts to have to hold your energy in check. You would love to bolt from the starting blocks minus any more lessons in preparedness. That which is holding you back is doing so for a reason.
Yep, I know that. When I was driving over to visit a new friend yesterday, I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep at the wheel at the lights. Luckily there was a lot of lights as I went through Subiaco. By the time I arrived I was still mostly dead, but could mostly hold a conversation.
Well, really not a lot to report today other than the drivel mentioned above. Wish all of you great health and happiness.
peace
gene
Well, I looked back a couple of Blogs to see what I have talked about lately. So, I guess I am on page 2 of the next book, ha ha ha. Well, it doesn't seem like much has happened since early April.
I am somewhat more settled in at my new digs. I have a few walls up to separate the space into segments that allow me a differentiation of room space. Then I added a 4x8 sheet of found plywood to the head of my bed and separated out an office area from the bedroom. Doesn't take much to sort out that energy from one area to another.
Just yesterday and today I have a new neighbor moving in. Fellow about mid 40's looks to have been around through some of the rougher times of life. Lots of self done tatoos etc. I don't mind a well paid for designed set of body tatoos, but the people that get the cheap ones and do them themselves hmmmmmm are a bit of the tougher society that I am not comfortable with.
Well, by coming to homes west I have certainly moved in with that crowd. So, time will play out what will happen. I am continuing to bless these wonderful surroundings as much better than being in a tent in the bush. Every night I go to sleep and every morning I wake, thank you thank you thank you. When the music is TOO LOUD I call the police. The cussing has not been too bad though some others complain more about that. I figure I could have been bush and still have the cussing so am much better off here.
Energetically with my health issues, I was starting to feel some better earlier last week. Just a modicum of a shift that I could notice. I worked carefully with George last weekend painting and doing volunteer work. rode around the river with him on Tuesday. had a doctor appointment on Thursday hoping for a Declaration of Medical needs....she wouldn't do it as she was not the one that had requested the blood work reports. Now I need to wait until I see Dr. Craig Turner for that. I have plenty of time, but sooner the better. There is a slight chance that I can get some supplemental support if I get the Dec Med completed.
There seems to be almost no jobs around....and if there were I still don't have the energy to do anything about them. I have volunteered at the Leeuwin for 2 days all up about 7 hours. Friday I came home and intended to go to the Buddhist Society for meditation and talk. By the time that I changed clothes/showered/ate, I was exhausted and have been ever since. I did ride some on Saturday (45 minutes) and worked at the Leeuwin, but have had a relapse of energy now and am flattened energetically.
The conversations with the new bloke outside make this place feel like I am living in a dorm with loud neighbors. Every one talks as if they are deaf. Hopefully it will all quieten down soon as they settle in. Upstairs Bev was asked by the new fella if the neighborhood was quiet...that is a good question for sure.
My astrology from Sudhir is my mantra I think for a few weeks:
It is nearly driving you nuts to have to hold your energy in check. You would love to bolt from the starting blocks minus any more lessons in preparedness. That which is holding you back is doing so for a reason.
Yep, I know that. When I was driving over to visit a new friend yesterday, I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep at the wheel at the lights. Luckily there was a lot of lights as I went through Subiaco. By the time I arrived I was still mostly dead, but could mostly hold a conversation.
Well, really not a lot to report today other than the drivel mentioned above. Wish all of you great health and happiness.
peace
gene
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