Tired two

Hello All,

Just flipping through my bookmarks and ended up over here.

another slow day in the life of Gene. Just not used to this way of living. Been a work too hard too long doer for well, too long, ha ha ha.

Living the life of ease and joy. Have a home, have a support payment that just might be enough, nothing to do, how can it get better than that. Wow, what a list I could make of that one.

I didn't and I doubt that anyone else does either when they think about ideas like, "wow if I had some income and a home and nothing to do like that would be just great." Unhuh, until it happens. Then I learned that with nothing to do there is little reason to get up in the morning. Or to go to bed at night. Or to shower, or shave or to do anything. It literally takes away the reason to live. What am I living for? Another breath? gotta be more to supported life than that.

I am working on creating some sort of structure of activities in my daily life. However, with little income and zero energy that is difficult. I am more in the moment living my life than ever. Especially for the energy that isn't around. I am very careful and wary of any hugs, handshakes, walking from point a to point b, the weather and the amount of energy keeping warm will take. Even conversation while I am standing can take a load of my ability to get home safely.

The other day I was grocery shopping. All of a sudden I knew I had to sit or else I was going to the floor. Luckily there was a stool that short people use to reach the top shelves. I sat on it for 30 minutes to stabilize my energy before moving on. it is a feeling similar to running out of glycogen when cycling or running. Nearly hitting the wall. Trouble is that even eating some quick energy bar still takes just a bit of energy to digest. And a bigger less "quick" meal can be really devastating.

If anyone reading this has had CFS or been a carer for someone and knows of a few tricks to help survive I would love to hear from you. I am learning a few. Like always travel anywhere every time with quick energy food. And to eat often. the Insulin system in me is considered to be OK. But, it still uses energy to create more energy as I mentioned.

Well, I pray that all of you are in good energy and may be well.

peace

gene