Hello All,
Just yesterday though I went for an Ayurvedic appointment. Ayurvedic has been around for 10-15,000 years in India. It deals with 3 major body types called Doshas. The three types are Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. I am mostly Vata with a fair bit of Pitta thrown in. Vata's are usually very slim, bony nubs at wrists and ankles that other people just don't have. Deep set yes, and lots more details. You can type Ayurvedic into the google and come up with programs that will help you to determine what you are.
It is suggested that you take the test once with how you remember being while you felt really strong and again with how you may currently be. this helps to show where you are 'out of balance' in your dosha.
I am extremely out of balance from Vata. who can be very scattered and does better with a routine. Who will push to beyond exhaustion and needs to not do so or face the possibility of burn out (like I have).
At the appointment the lady asked me some leading questions and we did general chat. With this she determined what area I wanted to work on most. ENERGY. So, I bought two teas, and she donated the herbal mixture. Already today I feel better after two cups of tea and two doses of the herbal mix. Still it will take time. The idea is to bring the digestion system into alignment. From proper digestion we get proper balance health.
Ronlyn also pointed out that I do not have true CFS. I don't have their problems of the inability to sleep but be exhausted at the same time. CFSers may fall asleep but wake up as they are too exhausted to relax into sleep. Also, I have appetite which a lot of them do not.
So, this looks like a great avenue to trod down for a while.
I will keep letting you know more as I learn more.
be well (it is easier than getting well)
peace
gene
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
CFS 14 July Ayurvedic
Hello All,
Well, the finances are restrictive. However, I am under budget for the first time in a long time. Actually have little choice in that matter as the savings are running out.
Found a book at the library last week about Ayurvedic Health. Been very interesting reading it. I already knew from other sources that I was Vata. There are three 'Doshas' Vata, Pitta, Kapha. Vata doesn't like winter cold weather. Pitta and Kapha don't like the heat of summer.
I see these people walking around this winter still in a T-shirt and I am bundled up with many layers and gloves too.
I am carefully trying different avenues to get my health stable and up too possibly. Number one is to pay attention to what the body wants and give in to it without a fight.
My Guides gave me a message about 6 weeks ago maybe even 8 weeks ago to learn to sit comfortable with who I am as I am without trying to improve my health, wealth, finances anything. Learn to just be me as I am NOW. It was quite difficult to allow my self to not struggle to get ahead. And most of my friends couldn't understand attempting to do nothing. I can tell you that to truly do nothing is hard work. To truly sit with the feelings of the body and listen closely and to pay attention and then to actually DO little or nothing.
I went through many iterations of doing less. And truly thought that I was doing the nothing as requested, comfortably. NOT. I nearly collapsed a couple of times when I really thought that I had plenty of energy. Where I thought that I would do what I was doing and get low on energy, and that I was sitting at 50% in the tank I was already at 5%. I have now applied for an Ambulance Insurance Policy just in case I collapse somewhere and need the rescue of my situation. Like if I collapse in Coles shopping for groceries, the people would automatically call an ambulance. They are expensive running about $500 per trip. That would wipe me out financially completely. It is money well spent as far as I can tell now. As insurance I hope that I never need it.
The study of the Ayurvedic has me changing my diet and/or reinforcing the changes that I had already made from my own understanding of what was working for me and what was not. Like now I eat 4-5 times per day small meals. I am not digesting food really well and there is little hydracloric acid in my gut or so it seems. I am doing two different things to increase the acid but they seem slow to react and I don't always remember to do them either.
One big improvement has been to add CoQ10 to my diet. I am only taking one tablet per day (all that I can afford for now) but it seems to help my energy levels a lot.
I had a pretty good week going last week until the neighbor decided to start a party at 12 midnight. His loud talking to his friends out side his door....beside my door woke me. Then more friends showed up about 20 minutes later. Then he decided to nail something into the concrete walls at 01:00. Then everyone left loudly at 01:30. After all those wakeups I couldn't get back to sleep until after 02:00.
I have started a Vata balancing tea: Cardemon, Cinnamon, Ginger, and Licorice. The licorice taste comes through the strongest for now. Also, I found some sesame oil that is supposed to be the bee's knees for the Vata in winter. After my nightly shower to heat the body (suggested for Vata in winter) I massage in liberal amount of the sesame.
the last two nights have been very cold here < 3 c. So, the showers and oil massage have helped me have a great night of sleep. Also, I am to put the warm oil on the bottom of my feet prior to putting on my socks to go to bed.
Today is the last day of sunshine for another week. I have been getting out in the sunshine at the beach every day for the last 4 and plan on doing so again today.
Overall this week and last I would say that my energy has been stable. Trouble is in defining stable. If as a healthy person one thinks of themselves as tired and could put a percentage to it....it might be like running at 75% or so. I mean for a healthy person from 100% to 75% is huge. I am way down the ladder. When I have been really weak I feel more like .001%. And fortunately I double in energy nearly every day. So, .001 becomes .002, .004, .008, .016, etc. Well after two pretty good weeks, I am feeling safely around 1-2% of what I used to feel like.
I feel that I might be stable just now. But, as you can see, if you are only at 1-2% it doesn't take much to floor you or me. It also leads to great care in paying attention to all the needs of the body. Water, Tea, food, Sleep, rest, slow slow walks, sunshine etc.
I know that I created this challenge and I know that I am learning a lot from it. And I will have energy again one day.
peace to all of you
Oh, I have one thing to add. Be aware of your energy. When you are tried, rest, cut back, say NO, sleep, eat good for you foods.
peace
gene
Well, the finances are restrictive. However, I am under budget for the first time in a long time. Actually have little choice in that matter as the savings are running out.
Found a book at the library last week about Ayurvedic Health. Been very interesting reading it. I already knew from other sources that I was Vata. There are three 'Doshas' Vata, Pitta, Kapha. Vata doesn't like winter cold weather. Pitta and Kapha don't like the heat of summer.
I see these people walking around this winter still in a T-shirt and I am bundled up with many layers and gloves too.
I am carefully trying different avenues to get my health stable and up too possibly. Number one is to pay attention to what the body wants and give in to it without a fight.
My Guides gave me a message about 6 weeks ago maybe even 8 weeks ago to learn to sit comfortable with who I am as I am without trying to improve my health, wealth, finances anything. Learn to just be me as I am NOW. It was quite difficult to allow my self to not struggle to get ahead. And most of my friends couldn't understand attempting to do nothing. I can tell you that to truly do nothing is hard work. To truly sit with the feelings of the body and listen closely and to pay attention and then to actually DO little or nothing.
I went through many iterations of doing less. And truly thought that I was doing the nothing as requested, comfortably. NOT. I nearly collapsed a couple of times when I really thought that I had plenty of energy. Where I thought that I would do what I was doing and get low on energy, and that I was sitting at 50% in the tank I was already at 5%. I have now applied for an Ambulance Insurance Policy just in case I collapse somewhere and need the rescue of my situation. Like if I collapse in Coles shopping for groceries, the people would automatically call an ambulance. They are expensive running about $500 per trip. That would wipe me out financially completely. It is money well spent as far as I can tell now. As insurance I hope that I never need it.
The study of the Ayurvedic has me changing my diet and/or reinforcing the changes that I had already made from my own understanding of what was working for me and what was not. Like now I eat 4-5 times per day small meals. I am not digesting food really well and there is little hydracloric acid in my gut or so it seems. I am doing two different things to increase the acid but they seem slow to react and I don't always remember to do them either.
One big improvement has been to add CoQ10 to my diet. I am only taking one tablet per day (all that I can afford for now) but it seems to help my energy levels a lot.
I had a pretty good week going last week until the neighbor decided to start a party at 12 midnight. His loud talking to his friends out side his door....beside my door woke me. Then more friends showed up about 20 minutes later. Then he decided to nail something into the concrete walls at 01:00. Then everyone left loudly at 01:30. After all those wakeups I couldn't get back to sleep until after 02:00.
I have started a Vata balancing tea: Cardemon, Cinnamon, Ginger, and Licorice. The licorice taste comes through the strongest for now. Also, I found some sesame oil that is supposed to be the bee's knees for the Vata in winter. After my nightly shower to heat the body (suggested for Vata in winter) I massage in liberal amount of the sesame.
the last two nights have been very cold here < 3 c. So, the showers and oil massage have helped me have a great night of sleep. Also, I am to put the warm oil on the bottom of my feet prior to putting on my socks to go to bed.
Today is the last day of sunshine for another week. I have been getting out in the sunshine at the beach every day for the last 4 and plan on doing so again today.
Overall this week and last I would say that my energy has been stable. Trouble is in defining stable. If as a healthy person one thinks of themselves as tired and could put a percentage to it....it might be like running at 75% or so. I mean for a healthy person from 100% to 75% is huge. I am way down the ladder. When I have been really weak I feel more like .001%. And fortunately I double in energy nearly every day. So, .001 becomes .002, .004, .008, .016, etc. Well after two pretty good weeks, I am feeling safely around 1-2% of what I used to feel like.
I feel that I might be stable just now. But, as you can see, if you are only at 1-2% it doesn't take much to floor you or me. It also leads to great care in paying attention to all the needs of the body. Water, Tea, food, Sleep, rest, slow slow walks, sunshine etc.
I know that I created this challenge and I know that I am learning a lot from it. And I will have energy again one day.
peace to all of you
Oh, I have one thing to add. Be aware of your energy. When you are tried, rest, cut back, say NO, sleep, eat good for you foods.
peace
gene
Sunday, 5 July 2009
CFS 6 July
Hello All,
Had a good nights sleep. very important for this episode of my life. Got into my regular routine of Protein, Vit C, and Glycogen drink. Back to bed for a couple more hours then up ready to head to the Beach. SUNNY day here for the first time in about a week. No wind, AWESOME.
I spent 2.5 hours there. Did 3 short walks testing my energy. And/or I know that I have to do some exercise every day or I will loose dramatically even faster than I have been.
Back to Freo, parked the car near the bus stop so I wouldn't have to walk up the hill home after going for Vits. I learned a valuable lesson. I parked the car, then got to worrying that the bus would come and I wouldn't catch it. I started stressing, hurrying to much to get across the street to catch the bus. As it was I had a longish wait but still better than doing another long walk and getting more exhausted. While I waited, I noticed that my energy was not good at all. Really bad actually. Nearly as bad as on Friday when I collapsed on the way home. I tried in my mind to sort out why? Because at the beach I was doing really really great. Then it hit me. The URGENCY at the car to get to the bus stop. STRESSED out for nothing really. But stressing none the less. I am so fragile that the situation is really scary for me now.
I very patiently waited for the bus. When it came it was full and I couldn't sit down till only about 300 meters left to go. I sorted my way through the markets that were packed as carefully as I could. My destination was a discount chemist with great products sold by Natropaths. I shop here fairly regularly and they have a 20% discount on every product bought and a 50% after buying 10 products. I was after CoQ10 and Mg. My guidance was saying to up the quality of the Mg and to get some of the CoQ10. The lady that helped me, Jackie was well versed on her products and helped me get the best price for the best product for me. I got much smaller quantity of Mg than normal, but Guidance says that it is the best product for me so, hopefully I can afford it for a while.
that is one problem that I am noticing about CFS. Or two sides of one problem. Or? No energy, means little or no work which means no money. Unless you get a bit from the Government as I do. then the products are quite expensive that are needed to revitalize the CFS sufferer to health. Catch-22.
On the way home I uncapped the CoQ10 and had one.
This evening around 8ish, I was noticing that I have more energy than I would normally have at this time of day. The only difference in the routine is the CoQ10. Hopefully it will have a similar affect tomorrow. Jackie suggested taking it late morning to have energy later as it takes about 3 hours to take affect. hhhhhmmmmmmmm.
After 22:00 now, time for bed shortly.
peace
gene
Had a good nights sleep. very important for this episode of my life. Got into my regular routine of Protein, Vit C, and Glycogen drink. Back to bed for a couple more hours then up ready to head to the Beach. SUNNY day here for the first time in about a week. No wind, AWESOME.
I spent 2.5 hours there. Did 3 short walks testing my energy. And/or I know that I have to do some exercise every day or I will loose dramatically even faster than I have been.
Back to Freo, parked the car near the bus stop so I wouldn't have to walk up the hill home after going for Vits. I learned a valuable lesson. I parked the car, then got to worrying that the bus would come and I wouldn't catch it. I started stressing, hurrying to much to get across the street to catch the bus. As it was I had a longish wait but still better than doing another long walk and getting more exhausted. While I waited, I noticed that my energy was not good at all. Really bad actually. Nearly as bad as on Friday when I collapsed on the way home. I tried in my mind to sort out why? Because at the beach I was doing really really great. Then it hit me. The URGENCY at the car to get to the bus stop. STRESSED out for nothing really. But stressing none the less. I am so fragile that the situation is really scary for me now.
I very patiently waited for the bus. When it came it was full and I couldn't sit down till only about 300 meters left to go. I sorted my way through the markets that were packed as carefully as I could. My destination was a discount chemist with great products sold by Natropaths. I shop here fairly regularly and they have a 20% discount on every product bought and a 50% after buying 10 products. I was after CoQ10 and Mg. My guidance was saying to up the quality of the Mg and to get some of the CoQ10. The lady that helped me, Jackie was well versed on her products and helped me get the best price for the best product for me. I got much smaller quantity of Mg than normal, but Guidance says that it is the best product for me so, hopefully I can afford it for a while.
that is one problem that I am noticing about CFS. Or two sides of one problem. Or? No energy, means little or no work which means no money. Unless you get a bit from the Government as I do. then the products are quite expensive that are needed to revitalize the CFS sufferer to health. Catch-22.
On the way home I uncapped the CoQ10 and had one.
This evening around 8ish, I was noticing that I have more energy than I would normally have at this time of day. The only difference in the routine is the CoQ10. Hopefully it will have a similar affect tomorrow. Jackie suggested taking it late morning to have energy later as it takes about 3 hours to take affect. hhhhhmmmmmmmm.
After 22:00 now, time for bed shortly.
peace
gene
Saturday, 4 July 2009
cfs 4 July 09a
4 7 09 b
I am in trouble. 16:08. I have just walked down to town to get some glycogen for my breakfast. I ran out yesterday and forgot to replace it.
This morning I did a piece of toast and two hardboiled eggs. Thought that would do it. Then only nibbled through the day after a cuppa coffee with George this morn at 7. Had a quantity of 85% dark choc lindt. Broken up hard to determine how much, but probably a hand full. And a banana. After watching a movie I walked into town. Just missed the bus.
Did OK, going in. Found a short cut that saved me probably 200 meters and found another on my return probably saved me another 200. But 400 meters from home, I was staggering exhausted. Body all shaky and minus energy. My internal resources were seeking energy from everywhere within. I walked across the John Curtain Playing field. Sun felt good and at the far end laid down in the sun. There was cloud cover but a good portion of sun with no wind felt really nice. I must have slept for over an hour. When I woke, the sky was clear and it was 15:45. I considered going to the beach, but knew that I would not have much time to make what little sun was left. I got up after a bit and found that I was just as exhausted now as I was when I laid down. That surprised me. I had figured that I would recover some in the Sun. NOT. I really had difficulty getting across the short fence and up the slope to cross the road and get home. This is getting scary now. If I were to drop out there, I would have had to stay there all night and in my present condition probably would not have made it.
I can call emergency and get an ambulance, but that is VERY costly. I have heard that you can make a donation and get ambo service. Need to check that out.
I came home and did a glyco drink and hope to see some energy in a bit.
I realized while I was laying out on the grass that every time I have had a blow to my energy over the last 2-3 months I have not ever recovered to what I was energetically prior to the blow. I get to feeling better after, but not stronger. Always always lower. So, as I have mentioned before, I have not bottomed out. And if I have not bottomed out then just what is the bottom and how long will I need to be there and what will it take to not bottom out and maintain what little I have?
Oh, Lord help me please. Guide me to at least a maintenance level.
Peace
gene
I am in trouble. 16:08. I have just walked down to town to get some glycogen for my breakfast. I ran out yesterday and forgot to replace it.
This morning I did a piece of toast and two hardboiled eggs. Thought that would do it. Then only nibbled through the day after a cuppa coffee with George this morn at 7. Had a quantity of 85% dark choc lindt. Broken up hard to determine how much, but probably a hand full. And a banana. After watching a movie I walked into town. Just missed the bus.
Did OK, going in. Found a short cut that saved me probably 200 meters and found another on my return probably saved me another 200. But 400 meters from home, I was staggering exhausted. Body all shaky and minus energy. My internal resources were seeking energy from everywhere within. I walked across the John Curtain Playing field. Sun felt good and at the far end laid down in the sun. There was cloud cover but a good portion of sun with no wind felt really nice. I must have slept for over an hour. When I woke, the sky was clear and it was 15:45. I considered going to the beach, but knew that I would not have much time to make what little sun was left. I got up after a bit and found that I was just as exhausted now as I was when I laid down. That surprised me. I had figured that I would recover some in the Sun. NOT. I really had difficulty getting across the short fence and up the slope to cross the road and get home. This is getting scary now. If I were to drop out there, I would have had to stay there all night and in my present condition probably would not have made it.
I can call emergency and get an ambulance, but that is VERY costly. I have heard that you can make a donation and get ambo service. Need to check that out.
I came home and did a glyco drink and hope to see some energy in a bit.
I realized while I was laying out on the grass that every time I have had a blow to my energy over the last 2-3 months I have not ever recovered to what I was energetically prior to the blow. I get to feeling better after, but not stronger. Always always lower. So, as I have mentioned before, I have not bottomed out. And if I have not bottomed out then just what is the bottom and how long will I need to be there and what will it take to not bottom out and maintain what little I have?
Oh, Lord help me please. Guide me to at least a maintenance level.
Peace
gene
CFS 4 July 09
4 7 9
Happy 4 July, yehah. I am flat as a pancake this morning. Up early to be with friend George for a cuppa. My alarm went off at 6, I forgot and got up at 6:30. I am out of my regular breaky of glycogen, vit c and protein powder. Did a couple of hard boiled eggs instead.
Drove the 1.5 k to the coffee shop. Realized when I walked to the car that the body felt like it was on serious empty. Very shaky inside. Worse yet when I walked the 100 meters to the coffee shop.
Had a cuppa and not much conversation as we both read our newspapers comparing interesting stories. George got cold early and needed to leave at about 1/2 hour. Normally we go an hour or more. I ought to have reciprocated with a cuppa but didn’t’ as the one that I had had made me feel very off. I was not sure that when I went to stand that I could without falling over.
I was sad that George needed to leave so soon. I was sad that I didn’t feel well enough neither financially nor physically to buy another round of drinks. And I felt elated that I could stand and make my way to the car and home without falling over.
I had a realization last night as I laid down to sleep. I started dreaming before sleep of walking into some shop that needed help and going for the position. Then I visualized what it would be. On one level I didn’t care as long as I had some more income. Sweeping floors, washing tables, windows dishes etc would be fine. Then I had my realization. It was the fact that I just don’t want to work at all. Especially for a time for now. Especially hard labour work. I would prefer to be on nearly sustenance wages and get along with what I have then to be working for a good wage. I am more exhausted than I thought. The body is exhausted but somehow also the minds idea of wanting more for living is not wanting to come up with the energy to do……anything.
I set up my budget last week so that I can do well with the wage that I do get from the Govt. I have all my expenses for the month come out bi-weekly just as I am paid. So, my elec, phone, computer connections are all going to be paid or mostly paid by the end of the month when the bills come due. What is left over from each pay check is mine for food, vitamins and unexpected expenses. Like RAC that is looming due now. And my razor blade for my elec shaver needing to be replaced for $40. with care I will be well able to live with this income. It is close and I will need to be very careful for a very long time to rebuild my coffers, it is doable though.
And, somehow I feel that making this doable is part of my journey for now. I have been asked to join in with Moira and live out bush on her property and help manifest its creation. My concern is that if I did that now, that I wouldn’t have much to bring except major exhaustion. And that if I came now, that I might attempt to do what I have done in the past and that would be to “rise” to the occasion and run on extreme empty to fit in at others expectations of my abilities. That has got to stop. I have to do what I do for me and not to get the acceptance of others.
I still feel/see how I reach out to others to make me feel strong, loved, wanted, even just to be.
This new me needs to find its own strength and become just what I am already and nothing more. Sharing is good, but it / me needs to come to the party with what I have to bring, not what I can conjure up as energy to run the body on where I am borrowing the energy and actually feeling almost like a thief to stealing the energy to do what needs to be done. The energy needs to come from allowing Chi in, food energy to develop wellness and life force created from within rather than a feeling of, “please help me do this”, victim weakness.
The body this morning is shaky, tired, scared of what might yet be in front of me. Will I be able to stabilize at this level of energy weakness? Or will I continue to get weaker even as I think that I am getting a handle on the situation? Unfortunately, I can envision a weaker me. I would not like it. I can survive at this level of finances, not at a situation where I need to pay for more support. That is scarier than where I am just now.
Enough.
Peace
gene
Happy 4 July, yehah. I am flat as a pancake this morning. Up early to be with friend George for a cuppa. My alarm went off at 6, I forgot and got up at 6:30. I am out of my regular breaky of glycogen, vit c and protein powder. Did a couple of hard boiled eggs instead.
Drove the 1.5 k to the coffee shop. Realized when I walked to the car that the body felt like it was on serious empty. Very shaky inside. Worse yet when I walked the 100 meters to the coffee shop.
Had a cuppa and not much conversation as we both read our newspapers comparing interesting stories. George got cold early and needed to leave at about 1/2 hour. Normally we go an hour or more. I ought to have reciprocated with a cuppa but didn’t’ as the one that I had had made me feel very off. I was not sure that when I went to stand that I could without falling over.
I was sad that George needed to leave so soon. I was sad that I didn’t feel well enough neither financially nor physically to buy another round of drinks. And I felt elated that I could stand and make my way to the car and home without falling over.
I had a realization last night as I laid down to sleep. I started dreaming before sleep of walking into some shop that needed help and going for the position. Then I visualized what it would be. On one level I didn’t care as long as I had some more income. Sweeping floors, washing tables, windows dishes etc would be fine. Then I had my realization. It was the fact that I just don’t want to work at all. Especially for a time for now. Especially hard labour work. I would prefer to be on nearly sustenance wages and get along with what I have then to be working for a good wage. I am more exhausted than I thought. The body is exhausted but somehow also the minds idea of wanting more for living is not wanting to come up with the energy to do……anything.
I set up my budget last week so that I can do well with the wage that I do get from the Govt. I have all my expenses for the month come out bi-weekly just as I am paid. So, my elec, phone, computer connections are all going to be paid or mostly paid by the end of the month when the bills come due. What is left over from each pay check is mine for food, vitamins and unexpected expenses. Like RAC that is looming due now. And my razor blade for my elec shaver needing to be replaced for $40. with care I will be well able to live with this income. It is close and I will need to be very careful for a very long time to rebuild my coffers, it is doable though.
And, somehow I feel that making this doable is part of my journey for now. I have been asked to join in with Moira and live out bush on her property and help manifest its creation. My concern is that if I did that now, that I wouldn’t have much to bring except major exhaustion. And that if I came now, that I might attempt to do what I have done in the past and that would be to “rise” to the occasion and run on extreme empty to fit in at others expectations of my abilities. That has got to stop. I have to do what I do for me and not to get the acceptance of others.
I still feel/see how I reach out to others to make me feel strong, loved, wanted, even just to be.
This new me needs to find its own strength and become just what I am already and nothing more. Sharing is good, but it / me needs to come to the party with what I have to bring, not what I can conjure up as energy to run the body on where I am borrowing the energy and actually feeling almost like a thief to stealing the energy to do what needs to be done. The energy needs to come from allowing Chi in, food energy to develop wellness and life force created from within rather than a feeling of, “please help me do this”, victim weakness.
The body this morning is shaky, tired, scared of what might yet be in front of me. Will I be able to stabilize at this level of energy weakness? Or will I continue to get weaker even as I think that I am getting a handle on the situation? Unfortunately, I can envision a weaker me. I would not like it. I can survive at this level of finances, not at a situation where I need to pay for more support. That is scarier than where I am just now.
Enough.
Peace
gene
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