Hello All,
A long time ago now, I got the message about "learn to be comfortable with who I am as I am without striving to be healthier, wealthier, or find a partner." I have been doing pretty good on that and can smile at my progress. yet of course as spring Springs into beauty and desire comes about, I am chaffing at my restricted lifestyle. Restricted into a fairly perfect life style, yet restricted none the less. There are many things that I can do.....but of course that which I can do I don't want to do, ha ha ha. And there are things that I would like to do, that I don't dare because I do not want an energy relapse.
All the Runes I pull are all about constraint, and/or that I am doing extremely well as I rebuild that which is me into the new format of existence.
OK, Spirit, God, The Golden Ball all think I am doing GREAT, he he he, I am human so of course I want different. Yet as I write this I smile and know that I may whinge, but will stay within the parameters of existing safely rather than take the chance of a major set back. I took a slight hit over the weekend and for once didn't drop lower than I have been before. So, overall physically I know that I am better than were I was, but I still know also that I have a way to go.
Hope that all of you are doing well out there.
peace
gene
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Friday, 2 October 2009
a long day
Hello All,
Well, actually it is just another day. I am up earlier than normal. I have a dead spot of what to do from about 6:30 when I am waking for no reason till about 10 when I seem to know what to do with my day. This morning I got up at 7:15. It is now 10:15 and I have done all my stuff that I normally would do already, done, did, what now, lost.
I am feeling energy....yet not wanting to apply it. Not into Meditation, cleaning, sewing, washing the car, reading a book, walking, sleeping or much of any thing between. Not even in conversation with anyone, not interested in receiving a call nor in talking, yet know that is probably what I need to do. Took me 5 minutes to decide to call a friend for a quick chat to see it that would motivate me. The conversation was stilted as she was just starting a project and felt cranky. Hmmmm me too...that helped.
Then decided to write here to list how I am feeling as I am feeling it. Nothing on TV tonight so nothing to look forward too either. May have to get a DVD from the library.
I have another gap of what to do between 5ish to 8:30 when most of the better movies come on line. Antique Roadshow is good at 5 and current affairs are at 6:30.
Is this all my life is about now? What is next on TV? YUCK!!! Yet, yet I know that I am on my path exactly where I am needing to be right now. I don't have enough energy to do anything like normal work, I am still recovering my energy and do not want to blow what I have gained. The weather is beautiful and yesterday I went for a longish walk. I was exhausted last night after it too. Yet it wasn't a really long walk. I walked a round about path into town and wisely rode the bus home. I am not ready for a bike ride physically and know that too.
My right hand and foot are COLD too. Been wearing a glove on the right side to compensate for the coldness on that side. Weird.
I am hungry for different foods, but don't want to spend the money to get different. Been hungry for sweets lately again too. And something crunchy.
What now....nothing more to write about.... go eat something I guess.
bye
gene
Well, actually it is just another day. I am up earlier than normal. I have a dead spot of what to do from about 6:30 when I am waking for no reason till about 10 when I seem to know what to do with my day. This morning I got up at 7:15. It is now 10:15 and I have done all my stuff that I normally would do already, done, did, what now, lost.
I am feeling energy....yet not wanting to apply it. Not into Meditation, cleaning, sewing, washing the car, reading a book, walking, sleeping or much of any thing between. Not even in conversation with anyone, not interested in receiving a call nor in talking, yet know that is probably what I need to do. Took me 5 minutes to decide to call a friend for a quick chat to see it that would motivate me. The conversation was stilted as she was just starting a project and felt cranky. Hmmmm me too...that helped.
Then decided to write here to list how I am feeling as I am feeling it. Nothing on TV tonight so nothing to look forward too either. May have to get a DVD from the library.
I have another gap of what to do between 5ish to 8:30 when most of the better movies come on line. Antique Roadshow is good at 5 and current affairs are at 6:30.
Is this all my life is about now? What is next on TV? YUCK!!! Yet, yet I know that I am on my path exactly where I am needing to be right now. I don't have enough energy to do anything like normal work, I am still recovering my energy and do not want to blow what I have gained. The weather is beautiful and yesterday I went for a longish walk. I was exhausted last night after it too. Yet it wasn't a really long walk. I walked a round about path into town and wisely rode the bus home. I am not ready for a bike ride physically and know that too.
My right hand and foot are COLD too. Been wearing a glove on the right side to compensate for the coldness on that side. Weird.
I am hungry for different foods, but don't want to spend the money to get different. Been hungry for sweets lately again too. And something crunchy.
What now....nothing more to write about.... go eat something I guess.
bye
gene
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